our recent life in photos

Gage

Gage is now up to 19ml of breastmilk feedings every 3 hours,
I wish I could be down there again-waiting untill Wednesday seems much too long! Still having issues with letdown for pumping. Seems like I do better with that while I'm there too,
its really hard to leave Gage.
they took him off the cypap and put hin on the cpap-which is kinda confusing for me. I thought it was a cpap the whole time.
Its really scary when he quits beathing

stress

Praying that we can get through this without being so snappy.
Seems like we're under so much stress that there's lots of tension.
Pray for us to have patience and to be at peace with one another.

Up early after pumping

Just thinking about my boys
its so hard to leave one to be with the other.
Please pray I can be strong,
I know without God I can't do this without loosing it.
I've just gotta trust he'll take care of Gage.
I'm soooo thankful for my parents for helping with Zander  (although all of us have been sick with colds)
and for great friends and supportive family, and my Church Family who have been wonderful .
Micah's mom and aunt are starting to set up a benifit for Gage at the end of March.
I am really amazed at all the things ppl are doing to help.
Like the box for gas money at M&H
and the jar the Sportsman's barbershop!
Its amazing how many people are helping out and how God provides through them!
So thankful for people helping watch Zander like my friend Mandy,
and Stacy for driving me! Katie for listening to me vent and for getting me into my doctor!
For all the people who've brought food Thanks=it helps a lot!
I didn't realized how blessed I am to have people like this in my life untill now.
Its been very humbling to have to ask for help because I'm usually the type to try to do it all myself and I have a hard time asking for help.

Gage update

Gage was put on a bigger mask for his Cpap today,
his NICU doctor decided to discontinue his IV fluids and lipids and have him just get fluids from my breastmilk (which he gets through a tube). THey started giving him small ammounts of caffine because he sometimes forgets to breathe with the mask. And they upped his breastmilk feedings to 12ml every 3 hours.

Zander and I have been hanging out at my parents', I am very thankful for all thier help with him.

My friend Katie brought me to the doc today where I finally got more pain meds (which have actually helped me relax some because after I started taking them I did pump 30ml that pumping time,
other than that I only get 15ml so please continue to pray for my supply to keep up since I can't get the pump to express all my milk.

The plan is for my friend Stacy to bring me to Duluth tommarow,
looking forward to seeing Gage

Hmmm

Just called the NICU to ask about Gage and the person who answered said the Nurse is at his bedside so I should call back.
Yesterday our little Gage pulled out his breathing tube so they have a cpap mask on him but he forgets to breathe sometimes so I wonder if all is good.
Been having so many crazy emotions latley
like I feel like I should be with Gage when I'm home and when I'm in Duluth I feel guility for leaving Zander!
I just wish I could be with them both-but someday

my Boys

Gage and Zander

Its been hard going back and forth from Rapids to the NICU
either way I'm leaving one of my boys and its hard.
I am Thankful that God has blessed us with 2 boys and I know he is taking care of them both.
I am also thankful for all my friends and family who're helping us one way or another from everything from gas money to helping with Zander to bringing meals.
Recovering from the emergency c-section is a lot more than I thought it would be!
My milk has come in but I have pumping difficulties where I have milk but the pump wont express it,
good thing Zander was still nursing,
once again God provides and everything happens for a reason.