This morning I went with my parents to Church-to a Christmas Worship Service with Bob Kilpatrick. Was nice to go. My mom and I had seen Bob Kilpatrick play when I was a kid, at some Christian Concert (I just realized that I have been to a concert in my life). I kind of miss going to church with my family. Guess I never thought I'd say that either.
I stayed at my parents house last night. Hung out with my mom and dad-Micah did his Christmas shopping and said he was going to clean and get our Christmas tree. And pick up the tree stand from his mom's. And a tree skirt that she said she was going to make for us. We'll see if any of that happened once I get home.
The Christmas tree is really important to me. I havent' had Christmas at my own house since I was a kid. My parents do nothing to celebrate it on Christmas eve or Christmas day. The last time I had a Christmas tree in the house I lived in was when I was in 5th grade. I think we had a manger scene in the house after that for a few years-now they don't do anything. Its a long drug out story that nobody really needs to waste thier time hearing-so I will spare anyone who might possibly read my blog of it. But I've been waiting a long time to have a Christmas again. And I want it to be special. So the whole tree not being up yet does bother me. And I have a huge manger scene that lights up that I want to be put in the yard. I'm really excited about it. If that happens today I will be in tears.
Life has been so crazy latley. I feel like I'm always stressed out! Thats not good. My friendships have changed. Thats hard. My friend Holmbeck and I have started talking more again. Micah and I met up with her in Rapids last week. That was really nice.
Not working anymore has been a lot harder than I thought it would be. I get so bored. And I feel like I don't see people.
When I say I don't see people that is my fault also. But I don't have energy to clean and all of that. And my house is a disaster zone. A constant fight for Micah and I (that is why he is cleaning today-we'll see if he does it), I guess something that happens when you start living with someone. But I don't really want people to come over to my messy house in the middle of nowhere, where my bathtub is orange from my water-and I can't really move around the greatest to intertain. I don't know my neighbors but I guess I haven't showed up on thier doorsteps either. Another thing I don't have energy for. And people who live 5 miles away think thier my neighbors. If I have to go that far to see people I figure I'll just go to my parents house and hang out with them. My mom has become my best friend these days. Another thing I never thought I'd say.
When my phone rings its usually my mom or dad, Micah, Holmbeck, or maybe even Darla. Other than that its Micah and I's guy friends-wanting to talk to him. And wanting to have him go do things with them that I can't do anymore. Like go ice fishing, and other fun stuff. But I guess there'll be time for all that later on.
Pregnancy has been life changing for me, because my whole life has changed since May. I use to always be doing stuff and hanging out with people. Not now, I just don't have the energy, I can't get around so great, and I'm not into going to parties anymore. Sorry-not really a fun thing to do when your pregnant. I now look back to every party I ever went to where some guy brought his pregnant girlfriend, or wife to and I think-what an asshole. You brought her so you'd have a Designated Driver and she's probably beyond annoyed with your drunk ass and everyone else.
Maybe I've just turned into a grouch. Maybe?
Whenever I'm at my parents I've realized I'm a computer freak. With e-mail, MySpace adn now probably with this blogger dashboard thing (even though I don't think anybody reads this or even knows it exists). I really wish we had the internet at Micah and I's house. I feel like it keeps me in touch with people. People that I don't get to talk to as often as I like. Some that I feel like maybe I haven't been a part of thier lives for a long time and who knows if we could hang out again like we use to-but staying in touch through the internet helps.
I'm going to my Grandpa and Grandma Ketola's on Christmas eve. I'm kind of excited about that. My brother Cale and his girlfriend Ashley are going to. I'm not sure if we'll ride together though. Cale and I don't really talk like we use to. Him and Ashley are in thier own little world, and it seems like everytime I try to talk to them they just leave. My dad said I annoy Cale because I talk to much. That hurts, but whatever.
So there's my blog of the day. I sound really whiny and bitchy latley. I don't know what to do about that. Guess I'll have to do something. I hope I'm not like this when the baby is born. I'm kinda stressed about that too though. Worried that Micah will be working outta town and he won't make it to the hospital or something dumb.
Oh-I forgot to mention my psyco dreams. I've been having crazy dreams lately. The one I had this am was like I was in a big room and some crazy lady with a machine gun was shooting people. Like we were all hostages or something. Where does my brain come up with this crap-I'll never know!
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